Corbyn for Labour leader!

Jeremy Corbyn: savior of Great Britain?

The Labour Party is in turmoil as it’s party leadership contest rapidly turns nasty. Blairites and Brownites are at each others throats. Andy Burnham, the champion of the left, has the backing of Len McClusky and his legion of union pals. Liz Kendal and the ‘Taliban New Labour’ seek a return to the glory days when Tony Blair sat on the red throne.

‘Red’ Ed Miliband’s career is dead. Once-loyal lieutenants like Yvette Cooper are lining up to stab the former leader in the back. His brother David is too busy enjoying the company of the New York elite to claim the crown his brother stole from him.

It’s all starting to look a bit like an episode of Game of Thrones. For those of us on the right who can barely disguise our schadenfreude, it’s frankly delightful to watch the traditional party of the left implode.

Labour were solidly trounced in the 2015 general election because voters did not trust Ed Miliband and his left wing agenda. Blubbering on about inequality and promising to hike taxes on ‘predator’ companies did not play well with voters worried for their homes and jobs. Nor did voters trust Ed to keep his promise not to enter coalition with Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP, whose brand of shrill hate fueled socialist nationalism irritates the English like nails on a chalk board.

Of course, if you ask a left winger what they thought happened in May, they will tell you a different story. You see – the excuse-makers rant – Labour were robbed by those evil Tories and smeared by the horrible Murdoch press, and the Conservatives didn’t get a majority of votes anyway because there’s a ‘progressive majority’ out there that would have flocked to Labour’s banner if Ed had taken the party even further left than he did. Blah. Blah. Blah. Crybabies.

If I were a member of the Labour Party, I’d be hoping someone at least half-sensible like Kendall emerges victorious. Alternatively I’d be making desperate sacrifices to the red god in the hope that He might talk some sense into Ed’s exiled brother across the sea.

Those of us with a scrap of common sense know that if Labour move any further to the left they will be out of power for a generation. Naturally, we ought to do everything we possibly can to make that happen.

Fortunately, as Guido and a number of other commentators have pointed out, there is a way. Meet Jeremy Corbyn.

The veteran left winger wants to reject ‘austerity’ and go back to a golden age of eye-wateringly high taxes and nationalisation. He does not think Labour overspent in office. He wants unilateral nuclear disarmament and more expensive ‘green’ energy. He is wildly enthusiastic about mass immigration and fully committed to the cult of political correctness.

Like many on the hard left, he sympathises with Hamas terrorists in Gaza as they persist in their noble and progressive quest to ride the Middle East of those troublesome Jews. Corbyn has form where terrorism is concerned, having invited IRA representatives to Parliament two weeks after the 1984 Brighton bombing that killed five people including two cabinet members.

He separated from his wife of 12 years because she dared to want a decent education for their son and sent him to a grammar school. Corbyn is himself the product of a grammar school education.

He is completely, ridiculously, hilariously out of touch with the views of the vast majority of the British public. The left love him because they are every bit as out of touch as he is.

Corbyn is the champion of those who still cling to their belief in a ‘progressive consensus’. Of the rioters who tore up London in the name of ‘democracy’ because the hated Tories won the election. Of the ‘anti frackers’ and the ‘anti-fascists’ and the ‘social justice warriors’. Of people who use the word ‘proletariat’ in everyday conversation and think they are smarter than the rest of us for doing so.

Corbyn barely made it onto the ballot, having gathered the magic 35 MP nominations with just minutes to spare. Many of his ‘supporters’, including Labour mayoral hopeful Sadiq Khan, have no intention of voting for him. It is widely rumoured he has been included as a sop to the party left in order to provide a left-wing foil for more likely candidates like Burnham and Cooper.

As things stand, his chances of actually becoming leader are slim to none. And that, lucky readers, is where we come in. Becoming a Labour ‘supporter’ costs £3. You can sign up on the party website. The deadline for those who want to vote in the leadership contest is August 12th.

I’m seriously considering it. The only thing holding me back is an instinctive sense of visceral horror. Part of me would sooner spend a night in a dungeon with a homicidal skin-flaying maniac than affiliate myself with the Labour Party. No amount of showering would ever make me feel clean again.

But if Corbyn wins, Labour will be utterly unelectable. They might not even survive him. And surely that’s a dream worth paying £3 for.